I recall watching an hourlong special about Allen Iverson a few years ago, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Sadly, it did not feature his favorite word, yet least favorite thing – “practice”. Towards the end, viewers were treated to an analogy with which I was unfamiliar. An interviewee compared him to a duck in the water. On the surface it appears to be gliding smoothly and effortlessly, hardly creating waves. Under the surface, the paddling is deliberate, strong and often incessant.

I certainly believe that there are reasons to criticize the President. I believe that his responses are too often staid, seemingly too lenient, and I think that he has been too soft on Syria (I won’t even bother to discuss Israel – I hate that it even crossed my mind because it annoys me to that extent). However, I find it laughable, in the least funny way possible, for some to suggest that he doesn’t know everything that’s happening with phone taps of other world leaders including allies and the healthcare website debacle, when he could have delved more deeply into those issues had he not been inundated by momentum altering, but entirely unnecessary and fruitless hurdles such as… a government shutdown. Or a threat to the credit worthiness of the United States of America, which has prospective and global implications. Those issues were running in parallel only weeks ago, within this very month… as the most recent and grave examples. It should be obvious that he has been paddling incessantly, unyieldingly against the economic and political currents. With no sign of let up.

Having said that, the CEO of the country, as with the leader of a company, is ultimately held liable for what happens under his massive umbrella. He can not know everything, but he must own it all nonetheless. Ownership must also include pulling out the guillotine on occasion and not just for show. I hope that there will be more stories about culpability actually resting and residing where it should, though naturally I am hoping for a perfect world.

It’s been several weeks since I first came across this Op-Doc (think: Op-Ed as a documentary), and despite marking it, making notes to watch it, trying to remember without notes, and emailing it to myself as recently as yesterday; I never watched it until this morning.

I really enjoyed this, not in small part because I have lived in high-rise buildings for the last 10 years, and live and have traveled to cities featured in the documentary (New York, Beijing, Odessa etc.). I enjoyed it as an amalgamation of social and architectural history, and it is also likely to appeal to most people artistically. I did find the poetry and commitment to rhyming a bit forced at times, even distracting on occasion. Nevertheless, it is a job well done and worth watching.

http://www.nytimes.com/projects/2013/high-rise/?nytapp=true

I finally decided to read all the recent references to the child, Maria, feared to have been abducted by gypsies a few weeks ago in Europe. In the newspapers there that covered the story, she has been referred to as the “Blonde Angel”. They also continually reference the color of her eyes. Something about that irks me, and I know exactly what it is.

In the aftermath of the Newtown shooting a few months ago, someone with whom I have a Facebook connection proudly shared that he had just written an email to the father of one of the students murdered in that tragic episode. In and of itself, it was a commendable and compassionate action. It was a proactive demonstration of kindness, even from a distance and from a stranger. Nevertheless, his stated criteria for the selection of this parent (out of the many others who were also grieving losses), belied a more bothersome implication. He referred to her as a “blue-eyed angel” as he gushed. Her father had been selected and treated to this outpouring of love because of how his daughter looked and all that that entails. That upset me off and on for days.

There is little doubt that she and her classmates alike were innocent, and by virtue of that, angelic in the purity of their childhood. They were angelic, not only in absolute terms, but particularly in contrast to the evil that robbed them of their sweet lives, that victimized them all. But why could these positive labels, and feelings more importantly, not be extrapolated across the board, both in this instance and historically? Why do we permit such a loaded use of such meaningful words (angel) associated with these other, considerably less inherently meaningful words (blue, blonde)? The issue lies in the customary and presumptuous extension of adjective to noun, an extension that is applied both generally and generously to those with these traits.

Like most of you, I never got to meet Jesus in person or have a conversation with anyone who knew him. Regardless, based on what people in Jerusalem look like now and probably looked like then, it is so improbable as to be virtually impossible that he had either blue eyes or blonde hair. No – this brainwashing scheme has a decidedly earthly feel to it. I believe that the deeply engrained association of these classically Caucasian physical traits with something angelic is derived from the self-aggrandizing propaganda by those who were in a position to do it, and who’s interest such lunacy protected. They used religion, a bastion of hope and belief for the downtrodden, to further their racist, belittling agendas. The neither blonde-haired, nor blue-eyed masses lapped it up, and continue to have it injected into their subconscious in between feedings. A sense of balance and equality continually roofied and made pliable; their half-dressed self-esteem laying limp, then and now.

We are all born angels, just as none of us are. We are born unprogrammed.

Has this been happening to you recently? You’re privy to, or engaged in, a conversation with several people who each share a version of a recent shooting. They/you can’t agree on the precise facts only to discover that you’re all talking about different shootings. This then leads to the grown up version of show and tell invariably starting with “Yeah, but did you hear about the one where..?” It’s now en vogue to be first to know and foster a discussion about a shooting.

The United States has a problem with a proliferation of guns and ease of access, and it’s bleeding all over everything else, everywhere else… Cross-border gun trafficking is leading to skyrocketing gun crimes in neighboring regions. Are you feeling numb by it all? Heavy blood loss does that. The imminence of death does that. But don’t worry, by the time you realize that middle schools and the NRA are breeding as many terrorists as Al Qaeda, you’ll be so numb you won’t feel a thing…

I TRIED POSTING THE ACTUAL VIDEO BUT MAYBE IT’S TOO LONG. I’LL FIGURE IT OUT LATER. BED TIME.

When I got on the train around mid day today, these guys were just about done with their set. They completed it then moved to the next car, almost missing the closing doors. One of them held the doors for the others toting their drums and stools, slaloming in between other commuters exiting and entering the cars. Had I followed them the first time, I would have missed the closing doors to the next car. I waited for the next stop and caught them in the adjacent car still. I moved with them once more after recording this clip, so I saw a little over two sets – the one recorded and the one after, in addition to the tail end at the outset.

The sets I saw were better than the one I recorded, but upon realizing that, I didn’t want to make a spectacle by continuing to record and being a creep running out of one car and into the next. There is hardly anything more unbecoming than being a groupie, especially for random dudes beating drums on a train. Nevertheless, following them like that to two cars gave me a new respect for their effort. They are drumming nonstop then running in between carrying things. It’s a work out for the arms, then legs, and cardio throughout.

Whenever I see train performers my guard generally goes up, because they are often so bad and try so little to camouflage their lack of talent that I am almost inclined to pay them to go away. Naturally, I don’t because I value money and refuse to let them win, but it almost always occurs to me as I risk deafening myself by turning up the volume on my favorite white noise app. Occasionally, a performer is good, and these guys were. They even dropped the tempo when announcements came on by the train engineer.

This video might be more enjoyable with a pair of headphones than just computer speakers. I tried to capture the contrast between their enthusiasm and the nonchalance of the riders. Many of the riders do in fact, enjoy the entertainment. They often even applaud, but when the hat comes out, even before the appeal as the performers wind down, the riders’ eyelids shade greedy consumption and consciences from view. Outstretched palms darken before they can properly even come in to focus. For the record, I asked them if I could record, and told them I’d give them a couple of bucks to do so, which I did. They were cool about it, happy in fact. It was a nice pick me up to get the day going.

This time of year is probably the saddest for my family, and this week is the pinnacle in many ways. Yesterday made 50 years, give or take, since my maternal grand-mother gave birth to a son. It was also her birthday. They are both dead. Interestingly enough, I spent a little time yesterday networking with someone from my hometown whom I met through someone else from my hometown. In an abbreviated version of the story, it turns out that she was not only in my little brother’s grade, but in his class. He died when they were ten. It’s amazing to think that he would be almost 28. She remembered always thinking about how tall my/our mother is (and she was especially tall to little children). My friends and classmates used to tell me the same thing when we were little.

Today is the 12th anniversary of my sister’s death, which I referenced in my September 11th post. Time flies. October 18th is the date that my grandmother died. She would have been 94 years old yesterday, had she not died three days after she turned 70. My brother was born three days after my 7th birthday. The link is tenuous, but nobody really minds the number 3.

All these dates and deaths and the passage of time (but especially seeing my brother’s former classmate now working diligently at the U.N. and as a full-fledged adult) got me thinking: we spend relatively little time as children, with two-thirds to three-quarters of our lives as adults. We tend to be adults in various states of competency and capacity, but adults nonetheless. And how do we spend our time? Often in a state of uncertainty, indecisiveness and worried to death, often about death. We spend it longing in many ways for the fleeting simplicity of childhood in its various forms, childlike thrills. We don’t outgrow our childish ways, they simply take on changing faces and get more complicated in relation to growing and aging expectations. In the end, perhaps we are just a bunch of kids trying as best we can to live life as we wish… a bunch of kids trying not to die.

After some thought, I have decided to summarize the “failure series” simply and briefly. The particulars of what I’ve learned through not obtaining what I wanted and thought that I wanted regarding; Harvard, Facebook, the New York Times, etc, are entirely personal. Those experiences and lessons reside within me and no matter how they are articulated, I believe that there is something personal and nontransferable about failure. That “something” is not instructive en mass, it is experiential. It is informative primarily, if not exclusively, to one’s self. This of course, bucks conventional wisdom that clearly, and to some extent sensibly, suggests that wise people learn from their mistakes, but that those who are truly wise learn from the mistakes of others. While often true and obvious, this is applicable primarily in broad strokes and big chunks.

There is an incredible grey zone of nuance which is where true, deep rooted failures and lessons reside. Ours is the original, while second party observation amounts to a less vibrant and less than reliable transfer. Transferred lessons may even be reasonably described as counterfeit; a mere recitation of facts and outcomes without original and inherent value.

Young children are the ultimate learners and they learn very little, if anything, by proxy. Theirs is experiential and firsthand. The first few years of life are deemed to be the most lesson-rich, but is it because there is comparatively little else to learn afterward, or is it because we bifurcate learning into direct and indirect experiences reserving “indirect” for the most unpleasant of life’s offerings? At which point in our development do we veer from the first-person in favor of secondhand lessons? No longer are we tasting and touching everything, true; but how safe and childproof do we expect the edges and sudden drops of the world to be as we scale the unsteady wall of life?  How, and how much do we expect to learn?

We must fail personally to extract value from the experience. We are not note taking observers. Life is not the case study method that serves condensed business cycles on a silver platter. No one studying a business case loses sleep worrying about whether they will make payroll or stay out of jail as the result of something they did or did not do. As such, that student could never fully learn the resulting lessons. The circumstances along with the lessons to be extracted are both individual and indelible.

There are easy lessons to take away from the experiences of others. Staying clear of prostitutes and drugs, for example, are among the most obvious and do not need to be experienced firsthand. These however, would be “mistakes”, things that we already know better than to do, or know better than to expect them to be consequence free. While there is an overlap in the definitions of “mistake” and “failure”, mistakes seem to occur on a treadmill or hamster wheel, while failures occur on the open road and give rise to new experiences and discovery.

The reasons that people make mistakes are undoubtedly many, but one of them is almost certainly that while they knew about the failures of others, those failures were never real enough. This is so partly because of our hubris and being predisposed to thinking that bad things happen primarily to others; but also because knowledge does not truly “take” unless it is derived first-hand. That’s why my parents seldom told me the meanings of words, for example, they made me look them up. That’s why we believe in practice ; practicing music, sports, mathematical problems. We have to practice failing in order to learn the most from it, and to ultimately learn how not to do it. We can not simply observe and expect to learn at the same rate or at the same depth. As such I have opted not to turn my personal failures into a spectacle or to delude others into thinking that they will learn incredible amounts from them. I also do not want to spend any time rehashing them simply put, and I’d prefer to write about other things.

We must redefine how we view failure. Failure should be seen as an essential and forward looking exercise. No longer should it be perceived as something from which we do not benefit, or that benefits us only (and best) from a distance.

I was taught and came to respect a number of things about being a man. Principles matter, as does the willingness to be reasonable and fair, yet direct. When Obama was asked (asked) whether the Washington Redskins should change their name due to what seems to be a racist (or more reasonably stated, an antiquated) name for the team, he was well within his rights as a man to respond. As a thinking adult, he should have responded, and he did. There are wars going on, arguably started, but certainly engaged in significantly, by America. There is fractured government, economic instability that is likely to get worse before it gets better, and a growing chasm between rich and poor that is almost unparalleled. There is also, of course, very real racism with palpable and pervasive results that extend further forward and backward than this controversy ever could. Yet, he is still a man and should be permitted (without excoriation) to respond to a question only noteworthy in how unnoteworthy it is. 

The question itself at a time like this is more of a crime. The reporter asking the question should be flogged with a Redskins jersey, or at least be made to wear one. The President’s response could also hardly have been more neutral and canned. He did not exactly go out on a limb by suggesting that a change should be “considered” IF and apparently since, a group of people are offended by it. He could only have been more noncommittal by not answering the question at all. His response was not news worthy. It would behoove the news media to stop the incessant and exponential reporting on reactions to reactions and to limit coverage to the actual news. Naturally, “behooves” does not cover the financial windfalls from lowbrow coverage that rises to the level of lowest common denominator which seems to ensconce the majority of viewers (sadly). Those addicted to outrage for the sake of those empty emotional calories are a powerful source of income. Nevertheless, perhaps the media would agree to cover the reactions of people only to a minimal number of degrees removed from the story itself. Otherwise, they should simply adorn themselves with the scarlet letter of reality TV.

The following is the exclamation point on my HBS PhD failure. I enjoy thinking about it now, because of the myriad lessons and discoveries learned in the year long process, and since its conclusion. My next post will discuss more vividly what brought me to this point and what I took away from it. In the mean time, enjoy approximately one thousand hours of research, reading, interviewing, campaigning, writing, studying, rewriting, critiquing, being critiqued, discarding, and writing some more. According to Malcolm Gladwell, were it only for this statement of purpose, I would have nine thousand hours to go. But I did it! I failed beautifully, and not for a lack of trying. One thousand words in approximately one thousand hours…

“Throughout my childhood I was surrounded and challenged by adults who encouraged inquisitiveness and independent thought, which is consistent with Bahamian culture. My earliest memories involve researching unfamiliar ideas and playing word games with my parents. This desire to learn through identifying inconsistencies and scrutinizing the status quo was also fundamental to my success in collegiate debate and auditing/fraud examination. Auditing is a study of more than just numbers and processes; it provides insights into human behavior, something that has always delighted me. I pursued expertise as a Certified Fraud Examiner (CFE) and CPA due to exposure to criminology and deviance in business. However, scope limitations in the corporate environment often restrict problem solving, and while my business acumen has greatly expanded over time, I need to explore freely and be challenged more regularly. A career in academic research will promote such freedoms. As a PhD candidate I would specifically examine; (1) how “Psychological Safety” impacts the prevention and detection of fraud, and (2) how fraud is exacerbated by cultural differences globally.

First, I am fascinated by Dr. Edmondson’s work in Psychological Safety which colors people’s willingness to report fraud. This relationship is critical. I learned about Psychological Safety while investigating the ideas emerging from Harvard’s Organizational Behavior and Psychology departments. I have numerous research ideas inspired by this study and I have seen the implications of communication style on fraud. I am also particularly interested in Dr. Bazerman’s “malleable morality”, and the thoughts Dr. Thomas shared about the direction of neuroscience which begs questions about fraud applications. I am also extremely keen on exploring how Dr. Badaracco’s “leading quietly” compares to the advocacy to speak up, especially in the ethical context, and how it impacts the tone of organizations relating to fraud.

Second, it must not be assumed that Psychological Safety and fraud are culturally invariant. The aforementioned work is complicated further by culture, and I propose that actively evaluating how “latent voice” and even “quiet leadership” impact fraud using the cross-cultural lens is critical to business stability. The organizational climate in some cultures is extremely candid, as in the Bahamas, and reflects the social climate. In Asian and Indian cultures by contrast, speaking out on even the simplest matter is characteristically seen as disrespectful. So to what extent do those aware of fraud engage in this “Diffusion of Responsibility” by not speaking up, and how do differences in culture impact this “Bystander (Genovese) Effect”?

I have also formulated other research ideas related to the distinctions between a country’s social and corporate cultures. American social culture, which is so predicated on free speech, contrasts clearly with its much more restrictive corporate culture. Conversely, Eastern countries appear to have less disparity between their corporate and social cultures as the result of religious and governmental influences. How are latent voice and fraud impacted in each place? Additionally, how much dishonesty must occur before a breakthrough in communication results; at what psychological cost to the eventual whistle-blower; and at what financial cost to the organization? Given that whistle-blowing is indisputably the most frequent means of uncovering fraud, candid and timely communication is vital, highlighting this critical interface between Psychological Safety and fraud.

Geographical disparities in fraud management emphasize the ever-expanding need for cross-cultural research, especially given increasing globalization and economic desperation fueling malfeasance. Per the 2010 Global Fraud Study, the U.S. reported 56.8% of all fraud cases, while Europe reported only 8.7%. Yet, the median loss in Europe was $600,000 compared to $105,000 for the U.S.  Do the lower discovery rate and higher median loss indicate that Europe is more tolerant of latent voice, allowing frauds to fester? Company leaders must understand that employees’ desire to communicate freely, without fear, is a very practical business concern; and uniform process controls and codes of conduct across divisions are insufficient to minimize fraud. This is only the first time that such global fraud data has been presented, convincing me further of this research need and potential.

I understand what it takes to succeed in different cultures as a result of my experiences living and working in both the Bahamas and the United States. I have also observed immigrants in both places succeed and fail to assimilate socially and ethically. But how does immigration impact communication styles in the native labor force? Experiencing cultures in places as varied as Cuba, China and Europe has increased my desire to understand people whose motivations may largely be rooted in their backgrounds. How are children in different places taught to communicate and with what effect on their moral development and ultimately fraud, as they join the workforce? How do cultural distinctions which influence gender relationships, impact fraud perpetration and discovery? Enjoying so many aspects of business prompted me to blend them with my insatiable love of culture. Organizational Behavior easily facilitates this, as does the environment at Harvard University.

I will build on a decade of practical business experience in pursuit of this PhD. Recently; I was requested to support an Attorney/Client Privileged investigation to recoup several million dollars for my employer. I highlighted errors in crucial assumptions preventing a likely forfeiture in excess of one million dollars. I also helped pioneer a joint venture between Internal Audit and Risk Management called the Fraud Committee, aimed at identifying and addressing areas of risk throughout the company. I enjoy and take seriously my role as the key Internal Audit contact on fraud issues and hope that this extends to academic circles through my research. 

Besides learning about fraud, I appreciate the importance of teaching others. I am an adjunct lecturer for a graduate level Fraud Prevention and Detection course at the University of Denver and I have written and presented workshops on fraud for my colleagues. I am also writing proposals to present at the ACFE European and Pacific Rim Fraud Conferences in 2011. I reiterate my academic goals through such experiences, but they also underscore significant areas still needing investigation, like fraud in the global environment. 

In summary, I am driven by my broad exposure to the corporate and cultural worlds. I enjoy researching, learning, writing and teaching, but to participate at the highest level in academia a PhD is imperative. I am also convinced that having passion, interesting questions, even perseverance alone will not create impact. It is only through the keen training and traditions at Harvard University that I can convert these into relevant and lasting contributions. It is at Harvard that I hope to learn from and alongside premier global thought leaders, cultivating the skills to become one myself.”