I am thankful for many things, and foremost among them are people who share their ideas and thoughts with me. Yesterday, I asked friends on Facebook to share why they are grateful and an interesting pattern emerged from their responses. On the surface, though clearly not superficially, most people are happy for friends, family, and health. None of this seems exciting or unique, but this is probably so in large part because of how fundamental those elements are to everybody’s happiness. Most reasons for gratitude reside in these basic and predictable building blocks.

The surprise for me was below the surface and between the lines: fundamentally, most of the respondents seem to be grateful for who they are. This was interesting because it was not reflective purely of an outward view which gratitude often is. Additionally, it came from people who are thoughtful and self-aware, so it could not be dismissed as self-aggrandizing rambling.

Our self-worth appreciates when we can step outside of ourselves and analyze who we are for good and bad. Like many of those who shared, I often separate my gifts and blessings from myself. Often, to dwell on or share thoughts about one’s own advantages seems to be the height of arrogance, but such an ability could just as easily be the height of humility (if I do say so myself), because we realize that it’s not really about us. We realize that we are, in fact, only vehicles of conspiring circumstances and genes and belief in the younger “us” by others, that made us who we are, and that by extension is the current “us”. Of course, we have had a hand in the crafting, but the extent as a ratio of total output is debatable. Nevertheless, we are so much more than “us”, that we can opine on ourselves in as much, if not more, wonderment than anyone else could. We are also less than “us”. We are less surprised because we know the inputs, but more surprised because we know our shortcomings and the challenges which we have faced.

Knowing ourselves in this way, facilitates, even heightens, our gratitude because we realize that it did not have to be this way. We are grateful for the people in our lives because they did not have to, and will not always, be there. We are right to be grateful for ourselves.

For those of you, like me, with a penchant for analytics and beautiful things – BEHOLD: “Information is Beautiful”:

http://www.coolhunting.com/design/information-is-beautiful-award-winners-2013.php

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/4269161

This is good. My one pushback is that the idea of selection still comes through in this perspective: What pain do I WANT? The idea should be refined to reflect that we should take a benefit out of whatever pain comes our way. This would be a lot more consistent with real life in a very real and often unfeeling, if not cruel, world. We may even change our perspective on, thus changing the definition of, pain that is useless. Useless pain is pain with little to no practical lesson; it is neither instructive nor directive.

I get the point of the article that we need to experience pain at higher levels to correspond with our desired happiness, but that thought should be extended to reflect that boundless joys can come only from limitless, or at least limitless exposure to, tribulation – not preselection. What lessons can I learn from ANY and ALL pain that comes my way? That’s an even better, more realistic, and more beneficial approach.

This article captures, with empirical evidence, critical elements of two debates often ignored or misunderstood. Issues of race and socio-economics cover and color each other overwhelmingly.

The defense of capitalism often conflates what is relative with what is absolute. The relative change and progress from the low and high point of one’s economic life may be staggering; such as being born into homelessness only to become a VP in a Fortune 500 company. Despite such a remarkable, sometimes even superhuman change in social standing, their ultimate high watermark on the scale of absolute economic strength may still be relatively low.

Cross-applying this idea of relative change (appreciation in the ratio of social and economic standing), versus absolute economic power and the influence that extends and multiplies from it, is critical in addressing racial inequality. Significant barriers to a consistent and far reaching improvement of the historically underprivileged continue to exist, and will continue under the current system.

In my case, it is a system from which I have benefitted due to my middle class foundation, but also one which to some extent also limits my attendance in the highest strata. I straddle the fence (or at least a fence) between racial and economic worlds, often in a grey zone like many of my peers, which only makes this article all the more fascinating.

Farmers rotate their crops so as to avoid or reduce the extent to which certain nutrients are extracted from the soil. Sometime they even till some of the produce back into the soil to enrich it.

Often, through fire, nature orchestrates its own long term advancement and growth through short term destruction. In so doing, it clears paths for what is new, returning what is old to the earth.

Soil produces living things, but must be sustained by death. It is not only sustained by life, just as life is sustained by it; but soil is in fact the remnants of life. If nothing is dying nothing is growing. That’s life.

Last night I attended an open gallery in SoHo and would like to share some of the amazing work with you here. I met Isack as I took a leisurely walk in the Village after a Sunday brunch about a month ago. He had a number of his bigger pieces on a sidewalk display and I immediately appreciated his work. Of special interest was the black & white image with turquoise flowers, which is included below. Of course, the flowers and leaves can be made to be any color combination the art lover wants, but that was and is still my favorite.

By means of conversing with Isack, I spent some time with his photoshop wizard of an assistant, Sara. Besides educating me a little about her process, Sara was wearing very cool boots of which I should have also taken a picture. She showed me the original image of the flowers from which the other images had been derived. It was beautiful and naturally vibrant, which is precisely why I found it boring in comparison. I was surprised at being disappointed with nature. Maybe I’m just more of a black & white kinda guy… with a splash of turquoise.

I had been feeling neutral on that walk a month ago, but seeing the images infused me with a heightened, yet still calm, energy. I felt that again last night, and his studio is the kind of open loft space that I dream about. Literally. Last night after the show, I dreamt that I was in an open home full of art, with a stage for an orchestra, a huge kitchen and big windows overlooking Haiti. When you visit his website, you will understand the Haiti reference and influence. There was lush greenery and lots of bush, that backed up immediately and very abruptly to a dessert. Perhaps this was the contrast that the artist and his assistant seek to emphasize captured by my subconscious.

You can find more of his work at Isack-art.com
The images will be better on his website, because the reflections and lighting will not be evident as they were when I took the photos of his images included here.

Often when faced with a dilemma, I say, “I don’t care”. Not because I don’t care about anything at all, but because I often identify what I think to be the right or decent course of action, and believe that the fallout, to whatever extent there will be any, is irrelevant on principle. In such instances, I am happy to say that I don’t care, because I really don’t. Debatably though, that’s generally not the right way to do it; but certainly it’s generally not the right way to express it.

To say “I don’t care” indicates incomplete thought or a complete lack of thought. The decision should be (and should be communicated as having been) made because ample thought HAS been given to the matter, and on balance, we will continue with our course of action only because it is the best one – even if it is not popular. We may (and should) do things that are not popular with others, as long as the scale tips “right”. This idea is not foreign because we often do things that are not popular even with ourselves or defy our own feelings, in favor of the longer term or more resounding good – we know this familiar concept as “will power”.

I am going to keep “I don’t care” in my back pocket for the same reason that I believe in “The Redemption Of Bad Words” – see 9-9-13 blog post. However, instead of saying “I don’t care” (as much), I hope to start saying “I have given it thought” or something that communicates the ideas and their implicit protest more clearly, maybe even more persuasively, certainly less dismissively. Instead of making it a cryptic statement of emotion, I can more consistently transform it into a statement about reason, and being reasonable.

When I first brought Kiba home he was 7 weeks old; so already walking around, even if with uncertainty. I rested him down on the elevator floor minutes after first meeting him and saying goodbye to his siblings. Forever.

When we got in and as we rose through the stories, his feet slowly and evenly slid across the smooth marble tile, each one pointing to a different corner of the elevator as if being drawn by magnets. They slid until he was flat on his tummy, or maybe just “on his tummy”, because that thing was quite round to begin with. He whimpered a little which would soon contrast with his boundless confidence one day, and abysmal apathy the next.

The puppy at :19 looks almost identical to Kiba at that early age, in all regards. Seeing that puppy was heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. This video for me is very lighthearted and heavy, very appropriate for whatever mood.

The first time I saw snow was 15 years and four days ago, almost to the hour. It was November 9, 1998, on what would have been my brother’s 13th birthday. Having at that time recently transplanted to Denver from the Bahamas, I was excited to see the ground covered in tranquility. Everything was still. At that time the Magness Arena was being built, so all the equipment, materials and mounds of dirt hid like little children crouched mischievously, ready to spring out from under a white quilt. What made it even more special was that I had no specific expectation of seeing snow that day. At the end of the day after dinner, we played football on a field by the dorms. In short measure, I had had my brand new, and only, winter coat ripped at the pocket. I eventually had it repaired, and I still have that jacket. Good times.

People celebrate and make a fuss about their birthdays for myriad reasons. I do not. I find the expectations of others for my excitement and joy, to be both inflated and a burden. “What are you gonna DO for it?!”. “Are you having FUN!!!?”… Not only must I transmit the colorful type of person I am through what I have planned in honor of myself, but I’d better also blow my own mind (until others tell me I can stop). “You don’t look like you’re having fun, you need another drink?!” *implication – sad face. That’s right, let’s alcohol poison my neutral state so that you can feel like a better friend; I knew that there was a reason I’d been born!

From a religious perspective, nothing good seemed to occur at the birthday celebrations on record. Further, the most well known and commonly accepted birthday celebration is actually a pagan holiday, as many of its celebrants readily admit. When Jesus was alive, there is no evidence to suggest that he celebrated it. To be honest though, thinking about Jesus today is really depressing and makes me feel old because he saved the WHOLE world (and every world since) by the time he was 33! He was turning water to wine in his twenties, which is a talent I’d kill for even now.

I will admit to liking my birthday though for one main reason: I always get a thoughtful, meaningful, well-written and very moving email from my mother. We speak just about every day, often twice, but those emails are personal and touching. A couple years ago, she recounted our family history for me from slavery to the establishment of a settlement in Acklins by Maximus Darling, the great-grandfather of my grandmother. This year she shared new and newly recognized reasons that she appreciates me. I feel grateful for my family and friends. As my father put it this morning in further support of my reasons to be glad, “you have seen others come after you and go before you.” I do not take this life, or the people in it, for granted.